Exorcist: The Beginning (2004) – Review

I watched The Exorcist when I was about 12, and no film has ever quite scared the shit out of me like that did since. Perhaps that’s why these days I find it hard to find a horror that is actually shit scary, I started with (arguably) the daddy of them all.

So whilst flicking through a load of films last night, I stumbled across Exorcist: The Beginning, the 2004 prequel to the original. I thought to myself “Well, the original’s pretty awesome, how bad can a prequel made 30 years later really be?“.

Of course, that’s not what I really told myself. I was prepared for the worst. I knew this couldn’t be very good, but it might at least send some shivers down my spine? Nope. It was boring, the CGI Hyenas (?) were embarrassing, the acting was absolutely appalling and the plot twist made me want to eat my own face which, lets face it, would have been a hell of a lot more entertaining.

I think the most baffling thing about this film is that religious horror / exorcisms / demonic possession / satanist cult films are the type of horror that will genuinely creep me out, whether they’re actually good or bad. Exorcist: The Beginning had no effect on me at all. It failed big time. This film was so dumb. I don’t know what else to say except that it serves me right me for pressing play.

Score: 4/10

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